i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
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it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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