I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i don't like sucking hair
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
