Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
