Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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