So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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