He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize