I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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