Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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