Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I need to calm my uterus...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
