dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
