You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
