once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
