Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
