hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
