I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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