She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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