Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
