thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
