Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
