recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
