So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
