if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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