I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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