Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
