I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
