Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
