yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
