If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
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