dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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