Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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