My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
