hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
