Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
