I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize