its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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