Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
