8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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