So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
