ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize