She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?