if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize