We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You smell like stripper and shame
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches