i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.