i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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