you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
