I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
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I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
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why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
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