i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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