just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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