Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hippo gnu deer
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
