I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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