Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
