Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??

  (630): View more from Illinois

  savin' lives aint cheap

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  (973): haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance?? (630): savin' lives aint cheap http://tfl.nu/eb5j
  Replies (23) Good night (1712) Bad night (580)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.

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  (407): i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume. http://tfl.nu/l5xu
  Replies (31) Good night (10460) Bad night (1612)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i have a dinosaur tramp stamp

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  (303): i have a dinosaur tramp stamp http://tfl.nu/rh7q
  Replies (60) Good night (8197) Bad night (2097)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.

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  (503): I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/2hrq
  Replies (8) Good night (802) Bad night (3930)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.

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  (917): I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud. http://tfl.nu/cvat
  Replies (15) Good night (5805) Bad night (1018)
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  (951): View more from California

  Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.

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  (951): Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials. http://tfl.nu/ieds
  Replies (4) Good night (3016) Bad night (961)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.

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  (512): Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later. http://tfl.nu/arob
  Replies (5) Good night (2607) Bad night (812)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.

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  (678): Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous. http://tfl.nu/26wz
  Replies (2) Good night (3247) Bad night (693)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.

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  (317): The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures. http://tfl.nu/juvj
  Replies (8) Good night (2726) Bad night (508)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married

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  (941): Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married http://tfl.nu/yr2i
  Replies (6) Good night (753) Bad night (1609)
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  (831): View more from California

  I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.

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  (831): I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick. http://tfl.nu/d0cr
  Replies (7) Good night (1585) Bad night (467)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.

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  (908): She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass. http://tfl.nu/vr1h
  Replies (12) Good night (2872) Bad night (544)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart

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  (407): Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart http://tfl.nu/psb2
  Replies (4) Good night (491) Bad night (221)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...

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  (514): It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time... http://tfl.nu/8j5m
  Replies (2) Good night (464) Bad night (242)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.

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  (330): We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person. http://tfl.nu/07yn
  Replies (6) Good night (715) Bad night (237)

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