hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
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Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
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Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public