You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
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Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
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I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.