Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me. http://tfl.nu/t4sa
  Replies (9) Good night (710) Bad night (2827)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.

  (906): View more from Michigan

  so you're not coming in to work today?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops. (906): so you're not coming in to work today? http://tfl.nu/mm6u
  Replies (13) Good night (1364) Bad night (4032)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj http://tfl.nu/74ok
  Replies (76) Good night (6755) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons. http://tfl.nu/sim9
  Replies (38) Good night (4907) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Hi, my name's audrey!

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Max?

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Hi, my name's audrey! (614): Max? (740): Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk. http://tfl.nu/di7n
  Replies (31) Good night (6130) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot. http://tfl.nu/93sx
  Replies (26) Good night (7042) Bad night (1299)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.

  (1-509): View more from Washington

  You had me at shuffleboard and strippers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers. (1-509): You had me at shuffleboard and strippers http://tfl.nu/do6h
  Replies (3) Good night (1372) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  strike, motherfucker.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em. (423): strike, motherfucker. http://tfl.nu/ain2
  Replies (4) Good night (2165) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date? http://tfl.nu/49q5
  Replies (14) Good night (2506) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you..., http://tfl.nu/l3w4
  Replies (14) Good night (1314) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean? http://tfl.nu/py5a
  Replies (5) Good night (479) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's gameday bitch. Man up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged. (412): It's gameday bitch. Man up. http://tfl.nu/dewp
  Replies (2) Good night (1455) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off. http://tfl.nu/8gvx
  Replies (1) Good night (948) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring http://tfl.nu/xbtn
  Replies (0) Good night (427) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree. http://tfl.nu/qbkd
  Replies (0) Good night (512) Bad night (137)

Randomize