Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
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Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
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I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.