did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
