come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
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