walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
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Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
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I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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