He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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