i already hear my dad disowning me
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
