Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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