sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I believe in your delicious
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
