Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
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