All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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