my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
