i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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